I'm Stuck
Hello! I'm new.
I can relate to many concepts and truths Libby shares: The use of our sanctified imagination, reparenting our inner child, attachment theory, the work of Leslie Vernick, listening prayer, etc. I keep getting stuck, though when, at Libby's suggestion, I try to imagine myself as an eight-year-old little girl gazing into the loving eyes of Jesus. I was being sexually abused when I was eight and my mother committed suicide that same year. When I snuggle up next to Jesus on the beach and look Him in the eye, I keep imagining myself asking Him why He allowed that to happen. I have children and grandkids, and if I had the power to stop it, I would not let them be sexually abused.
As a Christian, I already know the answer to my own question (original sin and free will). I've learned and taught these principles in recovery groups for 25 years and I'm discouraged that this question is resurfacing after all the work I've done. I'm choosing to believe that God wants to do a new thing in the midst of my painful marriage and move what is, perhaps, head knowledge down to my heart. I would appreciate your prayers!
Elizabeth - You are among women who "get it" - especially the free will and original sin part! We love our husbands and struggle to understand why they continually hurt us and can't recognize it. Keep pressing into Jesus and He'll continue giving you strength. My marriage is at a breaking point right now because my husband won't accept his autism diagnosis and is continuing to cause conflict and communication challenges that are destructive. I'm setting clear boundaries around next steps because my emotional and physical health is just as important as our marriage....and waiting to see how things will play out over the weeks to come. I would prefer a complete healing and restoration of our marriage, but I'm also at peace with separation or divorce if necessary.