One of my biggest frustrations is that when I’m in a good mood, things are great. But the second my mood changes, like if I’m frustrated with the kids, or raise my voice at all, on my period (he has zero understanding of female hormone changes) or even just make the wrong face (he comments on my face all the time, anybody else?) there is never any support or encouragement, or him trying to help me in anyway. He just gets frustrated and mad at me for not being in a good mood 24/7. How do yall deal with this day in and day out? I just wish there could be some empathy from him.
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Yes, very painful for you, @juliarosereed 😥 Can you give the emotion that you feel a name (when he comes at you like that during a hard stretch you're in)? Examples: lonely, overwhelmed, exhausted. This can be helpful to be able to tell him what you need. For instance, when he gets upset that you are not happy-happy, first you could simply say, 'Ouch' (to alert him that you felt pain when he reacted like that). He would hopefully ask what you meant by 'Ouch'. Then you can say, for example, 'I need understanding right now. I'm exhausted.' A rule of thumb is to tell him about yourself, not about himself. Tell him what you need, not what he's done. And the sooner the better, because they hit reset buttons and forget it ever happened. It's hard. 🙏